Deeper:

I was talking with someone over the weekend about the difficulty I have with connecting with the mainstream of society.  Or, rather, how frustrated I become over the mundane of 'small talk.'  How I desire that deeper connection.  Maybe there is a small part of me which desires to seek out the inner being of the person across from me and and create a friendship unlike those we share with others.   

Not many are willing to let themselves be open on that level. Not many know how.  How does one keep their eyes open like a child but retain the wisdom of age?  Can you be comfortable with who you are enough to simple be, regardless of what others might think of you?  Or in the back of your head is there always a slight voice which states "I wonder what they are thinking about me?"   (I have that voice... not slight though. It is always pounding in my head like a mad drummer causing me to second guess every statement, innuendo, murmur of thought.)

The point of all this?  Merely I spent some time with someone with whom, the pounding in my head, slowly reseeded till I was comfortable enough to simply sit and be.

And because of those silent moments stories, plots, ideas are filling my mind.  Can't wait for summer...

Comments

[sarzi]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Different people have different personality types. The "skill" for small talk is not possessed by everyone. The marketing types, they're natural small talkers. But we are not all like that at all. Just be yourself and not impose too much. I used to blog about these things before I turned to more serious posts. But whenever I have an opportunity, I sprinkle my posts with touchy-feely talk which was my original intent for my blog. Try reading my earlier posts and you'll see what I mean. good day!

[Susan]

I'm with you on the small talk.

"How are you?" "I'm fine."

What is the point of that exchange? Drives me batty. If I can't make a deep connection from the outset, I forgo the connection entirely...which is a shame because some of that depth forms over time. Not everyone wants to be an open book.